A Christmas message from Jake the Dog

Jake the Dog
Jake the Dog
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Hello it’s Jake the Dog here. My owner Gary is busy in the office dealing with people who want to move house before Christmas, or sign Wills before they over indulge at New Year, so he’s let me off the lead to write this week’s column.

Firstly, a reminder folks that a dog is not just for Christmas. We canine companions are a long-term commitment. Before you get a dog, it’s not a bad idea to help look after someone else’s for a while; “try before you buy”, as I heard Gary saying to a client wanting a Cohabitation Agreement.

Gary Rycroft.

Gary Rycroft.

Also, if you go to a commercial dog breeder, make sure they are licensed under The Breeding of Dogs Act. To get a licence premises need to be inspected by a vet and someone (if there’s anyone left) from the council.

Secondly, talking of the age of austerity, that nice Mr Osborne has made it less likely that dog owners will be sued in the civil courts if their dogs bite people. This is because the Chancellor announced earlier this month that all personal injury claims of up to £5,000 should be heard the Small Claims Court, where even if you win you can’t claim your legal costs from the other side. I said to Gary “so no lawyers will be helping people with low value personal injury claims anymore”. He said “yes and a lot of firms will go to the dogs”.

Ironically, this has happened just as the RSPCA has said owners should not dress up their dogs (or other so-called pets) in Christmas jumpers, antlers and Father Christmas outfits, as it can cause them anxiety and sometimes harm. Personally I don’t mind Gary’s daughters putting a Santa hat on me, not least as I have the option to sue for emotional damage. However, now I have to recover five grand, or I don’t get my costs paid, it’s worth it anymore.

So no Christmas Bonus for me. I’m just glad we’re going to Gary’s parents for Christmas Dinner, as at least they’ll give me some turkey instead of those awful dry biscuits I usually get. Very different from the big chocolate biscuits Gary and colleagues have been eating from shiny tins brought in by clients over the last few weeks.

Merry Christmas to all readers of two and four legs.