Being a mum just like any other, doing the best for her children

Jo Worgan
Jo Worgan
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As the mother of a child with special needs, I have heard the following phrases many, many times.

Those of; ’only special parents get special children’, and, ‘God only gives special children to special people’.

Now I know that when people say these sentiments, they mean well.

They really do. But, to be honest, phrases such as these upset me. They upset me because I am not a special mother just because I have a child with special needs. Why on earth would that make me special?

Yes, I am a mother to a child with special needs. But, and it’s a big BUT, that does not make me ‘special’. I am just a mum, like any other mum, doing her best for her children. That’s all any mother can do.

What I believe, is that having a child with special needs, changes the parent. It has to. Having Tom changed me. But does that make me ‘special’? Erm... sadly not.

I would like to think I am now a more empathetic and kind person for the changes Tom has brought into my life.

I cannot help but see the world through a different lens. He makes me see things differently.

I have to consider what the world is like for him, in order to make it a happier place for him to live in. By trying to understand his needs, I am better able to help him.

But I feel all parents do this anyway, whether their child has additional needs or not.

Family life is also very different than the one I had originally planned, as a family with two boys.

But we’ve adapted, you just have to. We’ve incorporated changes into daily life, with the use of visuals, sensory diets, and a structured routine.

We try to be understanding. But in doing so, Tom has taught us so much about the world. I now know things I never knew before I had him. In fact, a whole new world opened up when I had him, and I am glad of that.

Ultimately, I hope we have two happy little boys. My Tom is just like any other little boy.

He loves his trains, cars and playing in the garden. And I am just like any other mum. I just want the best for my children.